What have you done to me? How is it possible to feel this much love, my heart tangibly expanding?
How is it that I’d wake up in the middle of the night for a month straight, and now I need a coffee after talking to you? How have you inspired me to no end, even to inherently love the place Vladimir Putin calls home?
I love you, more than words will ever dare interpret, and know themselves. It’s no wonder I’m running out of them. Too big to contain. The sheer light, extra spikes to my sun, calming feeling of forever, breezy state of mind, inspiring go-getter winking her disarming blue eyes at me. I feel like I did on March 19, when first listened to it. After a seeming lifetime in between, love is impossibly more intense and uncomplicated. It’s phenomenal, the compassion I learn from, the gift of your presence and getting to love your heart. Getting to love, your heart. Thank you life. It’s phenomenal, to feel like I sashay around heaven during every I love you and every beautiful thought I read—literally and otherwise. Songs are about you, movies about us.
It seems like all the people that taught me love knew you, and prepared me for it. Now grinning super pleased and nodding calmly. This was what life is about, huh. Said from a place of whoa-ness, not presumption. Gratitude is like a new colleague I’ve clicked and choose to break for coffee with unapologetically often. It brings joy and meaning, makes the day exciting, even if not always sunny. Still choosing me. Still suffering when apart. Crystal clear.
And love is the engine. The koala in the sanctuary that wakes up in the middle of the night, after having done a little crack a teenager threw him, and he kept for later upon mistaking it for an oh-fuck-yes-be-mine sugar lump. He’ll make the fizzy sherbet powder face, but later look like the epitome of thrill. My koala does it up big very often. Waking all the other koalas, shaking the little ones too so they join the party. And leading a full-on koala flashmob to ‘We’re All in This Together’ as the sun rises, much to the carers’ absolute speechlessness, eventual enthusiasm, and loathed self-consciousness preventing them from joining a group of inspired wild animals in the zone. Indeed, after five months, carers will pay $90 to get a marvelled therapist to explain it to them.
So yeah, this koala has turned my world upside down for the better, translating itself into infinite joy, peace and happiness. She’s funny too, biracial, we keep it fresh, and ever exciting. Written in a middle moment. Isn’t that wonderful. With full awareness of my luck, puzzled as to what brought us together, and forever grateful for my co-piece. I love you more than love. Crystal clear.