OFFICE CHRISTMAS PARTY

Cocaine is coming to town! Josh Gordon and Will Speck’s last hit will most certainly please both the good and the naughty this Christmas season.

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Courtney B. Vance and T. J. Miller as Walter Davis and Clay Vanstone

As the holiday season beds in, it’s worth looking at what makes for blockbuster bait and ‘Office Christmas Party’ is certainly not disappointing. Hard though it must be to make “the ultimate Christmas comedy,” this feature manages the unlikely feat of being wildly entertaining while not feeling repetitive. To credit: the artful script and the killer cast.

Set in a 2016, very cold Chicago, ‘Office Christmas Party’ begins with Carol Vanstone’s (Aniston) threat to close the office branch that their late father – tech company Zinotek founder – left to his brother Clay (T. J. Miller), unless he reaches an impossibly high term growth. The only choice he and his colleagues (Olivia Munn and Jason Bateman) come up with is to get heavy-hitter exec Walter Davis (Vance) to associate with their company without Carol being aware. And what better way to make deals than to throw the party of the decadeSome prostitutes, messed up ice sculptures and hilarious dance moves served by Kate McKinnon’s uptight head of H.R. later, Davis accidentally aspires cocaine from a snow canyon and gets so high that he jumps from the first floor to the lobby and nearly dies. Just in time for Carol to witness, the bossy entrepreneur throws a tantrum à la Geller at Clay who finds in drinking the only way out to some muggers’ delight until his team rescues him.

Tracing the steps to become the most watched Christmas comedy in recent years, ‘Office Christmas Party’ makes for popcorn enjoyment and certainly lives up to the mostly rave reviews in my hopeless comedy buff opinion. Bateman and Aniston’s fifth collaboration further establishes them as the Prom King and Queen, Munn and Miller show how down pat they have their comedy chops, and comedy goddess Kate McKinnon (Al Roker’s words) has since garnered her first lead role in another comedy. The rad soundtrack comes and goes at the perfect moments and the script is quite jaw-dropping. For all this, I’d highly recommend this film both to teens and adults, and I’m sure it will be enjoyed by many generations to coal – come, that is.

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McKinnon, Bateman, Miller and Munn as Zinotek’s employees

Release date: December 9th, 2016

Grade: B+

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STILL WITH HILL

“Don’t boo − march”

thank-you

Caption needed?

By Patricia de Pastors

7:50 PM PST 11/11/16

Hashtags abound, marches arise, hundreds of millions ask how and why.

I’m not here to whine or have anybody listen, but because never before have I felt a stronger need to put my voice to use. Many have already, even months before November 8th — Ansari, Ferrera, de Niro, Gaga, Schumer, Streep — and certainly more accurately and effectively than me. But someone I admire said stronger together and if there’s a time to grab a pen, it sure is now.

We were fired up and ready to go, collectively choking at the prospect of a historic milestone. Some donated, some attended rallies, some volunteered and some eagerly watched the news every single day. But then it happended, and the sensible people of the world went into full ‘WTF’ mode. Now, I haven’t opened this Word document out of hopelessness. I did out of hope and straight-up curiosity about how some factors have shaped the election. So, first: how has the media affected the outcome? My call: by dehumanizing her.

Qualifications, experience and resilience — it does almost sound like a Justin Bieber chorus at this point. The media has kept reminding us of her unmatched preparation while refusing to point out what actually sets her apart: the woman freaking cares. She cares so much she privately attended 9/11 survivors’ weddings. She cares so much she got 8 million kids covered in the late 90s. She cares so much she vowed to make college tuition-free. And she cares so much … Feel free to fill in the blank. Newscasters also feasted on her e-mails and pneumonia while he had his wig messed on primetime television. They weren’t being vicious as he repeatedly claimed in the “rigged!” days. Rather, as Alec’s Trump said, they were just taking all of the things he said and did and putting them on TV. And Louise as in ‘Thelma and Louise’, well she embarrassed herself nationwide by showing how to make your vote worthless. Meanwhile, Hillary’s greatness resides in her desire to change people’s realities for the better. And so, why haven’t countless achievements and grateful individuals been able to defeat that man?

For those late to the party, the man in question is the kitten-grabbing, racist, snob, homophobic, cruel bully that has made you laugh, question society, start to get worried, upset, enraged and willing to take to the streets all in the span of 17 months. “Fundamentally, people hate women.” It pains me to quote this ‘Veep’ line because I thought the world was ready in 2016. 65.8 million Americans were. Which evidently surpasses the 62.9 that weren’t. That difference equates to almost 53 times the Yankee Stadium. It was our chance (men’s and women’s) to defy the alarming stereotypes long rooted in the (unfair, ancient and) downright ridiculous belief that genders aren’t equally able. That would translate into fewer what are you wearing’s and less concerning about why congresswoman what’s-her-name doesn’t seem to be smiling enough this morning. We aren’t naive and acknowledge that no candidate is a knockout. But man is HRC close: law professor, First Lady of Arkansas and of the US, NY Senator, SecState and currently pantsuit aficionado. Every last existing publication endorses her, and so do both Oprah and Beyonce. Any man with such a record might well be revered by both sides of the fence and would have possibly won by a landslide. But there had to be Comey and Assange and Putin.

Now we’ve gone over the obvious, cut to the reactions of people you love: your friend, your partner or your pupil. The massive heartbreak and rage triggered by Hillary’s defeat speaks such volumes that it has naturally resulted in multitudinous marches. LGBTQ people, immigrants, the black community … and women. Why do we females have to be fucking terrified if our champion was supposed to be a woman? On the occassion of election night, I attended an event for American Democrats living in my town. There were over 400 people and I’d long pictured us all crying in excitement while ‘Fight Song’ would be playing at full blast.

Yet, I believe every situation has something to show us: our disbelief and frustration slowly turned into comforting and hugging strangers like they were childhood friends. It never ceases to amaze me how quickly and whole-heartedly Americans rush to get organized, speak up and spread the love. You did on 9/11 and you do on 11/9. “Love trumps hate” is not a random, catchy slogan like that as we know. It’s an American core value. A cornerstone of democracy itself because it celebrates unity, and one of the main things the world most admires about the United States.

But Hill, our message is this: we love you, admire you and thank you dearly. I for one had never considered rocking a pantsuit until you turned it into a nation. And unintentionally, you slayed us once again by opting for head-clearing hikes, gifting your staffers the 1,000 roses you got the day after and honoring Katy Perry while a lesser person would have locked in to weep into their pillow for days. So let’s get to work and sign and share this petition to get the Electoral College to come to reason on December 19th. Only she can change the Nazi-esque scene that haunts teens, minorities and others in Trump’s America.

Let’s continue to choose grit and grace, and be kind to one another. Stronger together.

— Patricia.

Thank you so much for the read and, as Tina Fey did at the end of Bossypants with Amy Poehler, I invite you to write Hillary your little love letter in the comments❤️

All poitical views compiled in this essay come from a Democrat viewpoint and are unequivocally subjective.

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NORA EPHRON

La icónica directora y guionista de “Embrujada”, “Cuando Harry encontró a Sally” o “Tienes un e-mail” homenajea a Meryl Streep en el AFI, diciendo lo deprimente que es perder en una audición frente a Streep para hacer el papel de ti mismo.